This is who I live my life for – my beautiful, sleeping little monster.
This is who I live my life for – my beautiful, sleeping little monster.
Rock bottom is the foundation on which I build my life. – JK Rowling
Ever had that moment where you hit rock bottom? It could be any number of things. For me, however, when it comes to my food addiction, it was this Sunday afternoon.
But it started Saturday night. Saturday night was a friend’s engagement over at The Flying Saucer. The Flying Saucer is a beer house with hundreds of rare and delicious beers on tap. Because I would be driving the majority of the evening, I limited myself to 1 flight (25 oz) and 1 pint of beer to be consumed over a few hours. I also consumed 8 Buffalo wings, bone-in, and some cheese fries topped with chives and bacon bits. Needless to say, when I left The Flying Saucer, I was full. And that’s when the heart palpitations started. For the next hour, I felt light fluttering across my chest. It was noticeable enough for me to wonder if I should go to the ER. I drank water the rest of the night, and I tried to keep my emotions and stress levels in check. If anyone knows me personally, they know I am a hypochondriac! I was worried, but this still was not rock bottom.
Father’s Day. Brooklyn’s dad had an issue come up so I took her to eat. Still craving Buffalo wings (why, I don’t know why), we went to Willie’s Ice House where I had an appetizer of fried pickles and mushrooms and Buffalo wings. No beer though. Straight iced tea, unsweet. But as I sat there, playing with Brooklyn, it occurred to me. If I continue to eat these kinds of foods, I won’t live to see her 18th birthday. A girl I grew up with died this year of a heart attack. My own mortality is a reality. We all die, but now I have something I must do everything in my power to live for. As delicious as fried pickles are (and how they are delicious!), they are no comparison to the joy and love I have for my daughter.
So with that, I must eat healthy. I must find the motivation to break my own addiction. I’m addicted to food. Beer, Buffalo wings, fried pickles, pastas, candy, ice cream…it’s all so delicious. And all so deadly in mass quantities.
So back on the proverbial horse and I will do this. I will. I must!
Idle hands are the devil’s play thing.
I have had a busy, busy month! I’ve also had a very sad month. Spring break was awesome, but shortly there after, my grandmother went to the hospital. Unfortunately, she did not make it home this time. She passed away the last week of March. She was a classy lady, and she will be missed.
Skip forward to April. As a grad student, I realized today that 4 major projects due in a span of 4 weeks. Gulp. Children, procrastination leads you no where.
The other major change in my life is I moved into my own place with my little girl. It’s so nice to have my own space! As soon as school is done, I’ll be revving up my crafts, food, and diet blogging!
Advocare Meal Replacement bar (surprisingly very tasty!)
Salad – Mixed greens, mushrooms, sun-dried tomatoes, a boiled egg, broccoli and oil and vinegar
Cheesecake (bad, I know!)
Baked potato with light sour cream, Laughing Cow swiss cheese and chives
All in all, a good day eating. Tomorrow, I resume walking after a minor Achilles’ tendon injury. Working out is good, but gotta do it safely!
Today was easier in terms that I wasn’t as hungry. The key to this challenge is planning ahead, which unfortunately didn’t happen for me today. But I successfully made it through the day, and I even got some exercise!
My menu today:
Herbal Cleanse drink
Meal Replacement Shake
1 tsp of oil and vinegar
Cup of strawberries
Broccoli and cauliflower topped with shredded chicken in tomato sauce
I also got 45 minutes worth of exercise in: 30 minutes walk, 5 minutes warm up, 5 minutes cool down, and 5 minutes of jogging.
Here is a picture of me today, on day 2, of the Challenge.
Thanks for reading. After all this time of being unfit and depressed, I’m ready to move on. I found the quote below and I must keep this in mind. Unfortunately, I am one for instant gratification so I always fail at losing weight because I give up. Not this time. I must have patience!
Determination, patience and courage are the only things needed to improve any situation.
“Life’s blows cannot break a person whose spirit is warmed by the fire of enthusiasm.” – Norman Vincent Peale
It’s been a very long 13 days of 2013. Let’s recap:
- Broke up with my boyfriend/father of my child
- Started the year off broke from Christmas
- Totaled my car (on my birthday)
- Couldn’t stick to my cleanse diet because I was way too stressed out
Okay, so maybe that last one was my fault. However, it’s been a very rough two weeks. However, I’m optimistic. Here’s why:
- Jonathan and I needed to go our separate ways to be better people and parents to Brooklyn.
- I’m learning how to better economize my money
- No one was hurt in the car wreck. It could have been a lot worse.
So, in the midst of all the bad, there are a few glimmers of good things, or potentially good things, on which to hold. But I must beg 2013 to be kinder. I can’t take much more, at least not right now. I know that God will never give us more than we can manage. I just think He overestimates me.
On the cooking front, I’ve made some excellent meals in 2013. Because I tried doing the 24 Day Challenge for Advocare, I have been eating very well. One of my favorites was Slow Cooker Chicken Burritos. I wish I had taken a picture.
Slow Cooker Chicken Burritos
Place chicken in slow cooker. Pour remaining ingredients on top of chicken. Cover and cook on low for 6 hours or until chicken is cooked. Serve over lettuce for a Tex-Mex salad or serve with beans, tomatoes, lettuce, black olives (ew!), salsa and avocado.
I ate it with fat-free black refried beans, onion and lettuce. It was very filling, very yummy, very high in protein and low in fat! Definitely something to keep in mind for a future meal.
At the end of today, I look back on the last 13 days and I’m ready for the future. I’m ready to be happy, I’m ready to be fulfilled, I’m ready to be satisfied within. So, tomorrow is Monday, and a new week, and I’m ready. I’m ready with a smile.
No matter how hard the past, you can always begin again.
I’m currently doing the Advocare 24 Day Challenge, and I’m currently on Day 5. My intention was to blog every day, but between school, work, Lauren’s wedding, and watching Brooklyn, I have been far too busy to sit down for a moment, let alone blog. But I have a few minutes and I’d like to talk about the product, what I’ve experienced, and my overall thoughts on a trendy, expensive cleanse.
First of all, it’s not as hard as I imagined.
Day 1 was very easy. For one, I was super excited about the cleanse so I was on an adrenaline high. The Spark Energy drink is amazing. Better than Starbucks, and everyone knows that I’m a Starbucks addict. In fact, I’m pretty sure my barista must think I’ve gone missing since my patronage at Starbucks has been non-existant this week. I drink the Mandarin Orange and Fruit Punch flavors. Very tasty. The fiber drink is okay. I mixed it with orange juice along with the water so it tastes a little better. But it was not as bad as I was expecting. Who likes fiber drink? Not this fat girl, that’s for sure. On the Cleanse, you drink a meal replacement shake in the morning. I have to say…THESE ARE AMAZING. I have tried Slim-Quick and other shakes in the past – they all tasted like chalk. I vowed never to drink another. However, these shakes are fabulous. Tasty, thick, and very, very filling. I drink one around 7 and I’m not even hungry until 10 or so. I will continue drinking these after the cleanse. That’s pretty much all you have to do other than take vitamins and an herbal cleanse pill at night. However, because it’s a cleanse, you have to watch what you eat. I’ve really, really tried to stick with raw foods. Today, I had a slip up at lunch, but otherwise I have done very well. And according to the scale, it’s working! I feel better. Less heartburn, tons more energy, and even though this is the most stressful week of my life, I’ve maintained some sanity, which I attribute to all the vitamins in the Spark drink. Today was the first day that I’ve craved bad food, but I’m thinking that may be because it’s Friday, and Fridays are usually wings and beer night!
I’ll write again soon. Hopefully I’ll still be very optimistic!
I’m just going to say it: I suck at losing weight. I’ve been on WW a while, and I’m not losing a thing. It is because I just love food. I eat out all the time. I try to make the healthy choices, but let’s face it: bad food is delish! I need motivation. I need drive. I need to lose weight.
These are my top 5 reasons why I want to lose weight:
5. Money. It costs to eat out, it costs to be fat. I need to conserve as much money as possible.
4. Style. This is a very shallow, but very practical reason. I want to dress in fun styles.
3. My looks. Again, very shallow. But who wants to date a fat woman? Don’t get me wrong – I do not want to be a stick – but I want other people to find me attractive.
2. My health. When I was 16, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. This was due to genetics (thanks, Dad!) but it is something I really need to be aware of, and it’s something I don’t control as much as I should. High blood pressure and heart disease run in my family. I’m scared of cancer (even though no one in my family has had it) and a lot of cancers are preventable with diet. Lastly, health care costs a lot. I’d rather get in shape now, get healthy now, and hopefully avoid high costs.
1. My daughter. I want to play with my daughter without being out of breath. I want her to be proud of me. I don’t want her to be embarrassed by an overweight mom. As shallow as this is, I want to be that cool that ‘cool’ mom that wears stylish clothes and takes my daughter on fun vacations. For her sake, I need to get healthy.
I need to post this list on the refrigerator. I need to remember this when I want to grab a burger at a fast food joint. I’m going to start over on WW, and this time I hope to do it right! I have reasons to lose weight. Most importantly, it will feel good to look good! Wish me luck!