I’m a big kid now?

I forgot to bring my lunch to work on Friday, so I had to out for food, which is nice except I didn’t have anyone to eat with. To stave off the feelings of loneliness and embarassment by eating by myself, I employed the safe magazine approach. I pulled out the Kiplinger’s magazine my father gave me and began reading it.

Nothing makes me feel more anxious about the future than the state of the economy and my own financial portfolio…or lack thereof. I know nothing about money. All I know is what I have in my checking account and I know that should the worst happen, that would not be enough on which to get by. It freaks me out. And all I want to scream is ‘I’m not really an adult yet! Not really!’ When it comes to money, I still feel like I am playing house…that I’m not really working for a living…at the end of the summer, I’m going home to live with my parents…except that I’m not. This is real.

I don’t know. Sometimes I just feel really, really insecure about things. And reading that darned magazine only heightened that sense of ‘Holy hell, I’m an adult, I should know this stuff!’ feeling. I guess I just need to learn about it and make better decisions, though if this weekend was indicative of making better decisions, I’ve got a long, long way to go.

~ by imtindomeiel on April 6, 2008.